I don’t think anyone can really convey the exhaustion that is teaching to those with normal jobs. It’s like love or spiritual epiphany: words do not suffice.

I’m tired.

Today was an especially exhausting day, because ESS started today. ESS (Extended School Services) is an after school program for students struggling in reading and math. I teach two hours of literacy after school with a half hour break in between. Which puts me at 5:10 or so (after all the kids leave) before I can start preparing for the next day’s lesson. By the time I left it was 6:30 - twelve hours at school. And I haven’t even started reading the stack of memoir drafts I brought home for the night. (Yes, I’m procrastinating.)

On the bright side, I did not raise my voice once all day, despite the kids’ inexplicable rowdiness. Patience is definitely a learned virtue in my case, but maintaining a calm and gently unyielding tone seems to have a calming effect not only on them, but on myself as well. I am not nearly as frazzled this year, and I really think it comes down to tone and simple breathing exercises the kids like to do with me when my blood pressure begins to rise. That’s another thing I can’t convey: just how annoying middle schoolers can be.

(I love ‘em though.)

And ESS was rewarding. For the first session, I have a group of seven girls and no boys, which is a completely different dynamic. It seemed they were more able to relax, and as we read an excerpt from The Long Walk to Freedomby Nelson Mandela, we were able to open up and discuss gender issues (as well as racial issues) in a way that I’m not sure would have been possible had boys been present. One student flattered me by asking me to “adopt” her as part of our mentoring program. I look forward to the next six weeks, specifically for working with that group. They were completely engaged in the text, and asked if they could read Dr. King’s Letter from Birmingham Jail on Wednesday.

And now with heavy lids, I must go grind tomorrow’s coffee beans and prepare for yet another long day.